How to get laid (off)

So this idea has been kicking around for years now....officially I've been laid off/retrenched/made redundant 5 times in 11 years which is quite impressive. How about twice in 1 year (tick!). Has anyone else been laid off that many times - if so let me know?

Can I plead that there are special circumstances? I work in Marketing for IT and Telco's which is notoriously high risk ...I also survived the dot.com boom/bust.

I'm semi famous (laughable) for this stat amongst friends and I've always threatened to 'write a book' but that's so last century so why not a blog.

So by now (if you’re still reading) you might be asking 'how does he do it'? I thought I would share a few lessons about my experiences but perhaps the most interesting fact about being laid off so much is that I managed to profit from the experience (hello house deposit - goodbye job security).

In fact in a sick way you can, with good luck and a steely nerve, plan for retrenchment by choosing the 'right' company/job role. If that fails well there are other ways (insert evil laugh). I have been described as 'Machiavellian' in some situations but I prefer to think of myself as 'pragmatic' in the face of the inevitable.

I have been shocked in my working life by how oblivious some people are to the signs of impending doom (yes the company is in trouble but I'll be ok! huh?) .. how managers often don't let people know their lives are about to be turned upside down (morals?) or even worse assure people they will be ok, use them then dump then anyway? Hello corporate world..do unto others!!

I realise in the current climate there are a lot of people being laid off and this blog could be a little off colour but hopefully people can see the funny side(?) of my experiences and perhaps share a laugh.

Hell George Clooney even has a movie about laying people off at the moment 'Up in the air' - note to self - go watch it.

Anyway enough rambling. I always planned to subtitle my book 'Rub the right people the wrong way and profit' ...so I'll elaborate on that shortly.